Aim The aim of this study was to explore family members perceptions of assisted bodily care in a nursing home. Background Many older people living in nursing homes need assisted bodily care, provided by assistant nurses. This means exposedness, as the assistance is often provided under stress, but also brings pleasure. Family members, who may wish to and often benefit from continuing to provide assisted bodily care, are perceived as visitors and are expected to relinquish the assisted bodily care to the assistant nurses. Design This study has a qualitative design with a phenomenographic approach. Methods Data were collected through semi-structured interviews (n = 13) with family members of older people who were aged amp;gt; 80, permanently living in a nursing home, suffering from multimorbidity, and in daily need of assisted bodily care. The data were analysed using a phenomenographic method. Results Three categories of description presenting an increasing complexity were identified. The family members perceived that assisted bodily care is built upon a respect for the older persons self-determination, practically supported by assistant nurses, and complemented by family members. Conclusions In the family members perceptions, assisted bodily care signifies ambiguity, as they find themselves balancing between the older persons need for self-determination and need for help, and, further, between their trust in the assistant nurses skills and their own perceived inadequacies in intimate assisted bodily care. Implications for practice Policies that address the family members role in nursing homes are needed. Furthermore, time for collaboration is needed for assistant nurses to inform and explain care decisions, become aware of the family members perceptions of their situation and learn from them.